Remaining in discomfort

I set a goal last year of being able to work from home in 2012.  In February, with the support of my wonderful husband, I was able to quit my job.  Also in 2011, my husband and I started You Get Me Gifts a gift basket business specializing in custom gift baskets.  It has definitely been an interesting year.  My husband and I have this dream of both being able to work from home and raise a family.  It was our plan for me to stop working at my job, and then gradually build up our business or other sources of income from home. 

So here I am now beginning month four of working from home, and I am in that uncomfortable spot.  I feel like we are making progress, but I have no idea how far away I am from our destination.  The part of me that wants to know certainty wants to abandon ship and swim as quickly back to what I know which is an every two week paycheck.  But that also means swimming back to the life I didn’t really enjoy and when I get tired of it again (which I am sure I will) it means starting over. 

I am the type of person that likes to fast forward to the end of the movie before I watch the beginning.  If it is going to end sad, I would rather not watch it at all.  I am not the type of person that does well with situations that I could give a 110 percent, and in the end it still may not work out.  Or should I say not work out the way I want or expected it too.  So right now I look at my life and I see a lot of ???? and unknowns. 

The one thing I do know is that I don’t want to look back at my life and have a bunch of regrets.  I want to know that I went after the things that I really wanted, and didn’t quit when it got tough.  I honestly don’t know what the next year holds or even the next month, but I am going to swim around a little more and who knows  where I will end up.